Insights
Periodic insights from our Investment and Private Client Teams on a broad range of investment and advice-related topics
More Senior Women Are Living Together. Is This ‘Golden Girls’ Arrangement Right for You?
By Sarah Bull, FCSI®, CIM®, Managing Partner & Portfolio Manager
Normally, a Friday on the 13th of the month may instill a certain mild trepidation over the prospect of bad luck, or perhaps bad memories of a particularly gory series of slasher films. This month, however, a more lighthearted occasion falls on Friday, Feb. 13. It’s “Galentine’s Day,” a firmly unofficial holiday meant to give women a chance to celebrate the joys of sisterhood and friendship. The idea originated in the popular American sitcom Parks and Recreation more than a decade ago, and its placement and name are of course intentional: Galentine’s Day is a platonic extra for women in couples and a fun, alternative celebration for those “uncoupled” women who might find Valentine’s a lonely, emotionally difficult time.
Beyond pop culture, however, this seems a rather relevant phenomenon right now, because more and more single women, particularly those in their later years, are deciding to apply the spirit of the day to the long term – and choosing to make spending time with friends into a permanent living arrangement. Increasingly, senior women are seeking out shared-housing options after the death of their spouse or marital breakdown, or after a lifetime of living single. The goal is not only to defray ever-rising housing costs, although that is often a big part of it, but also to reap the benefits of companionship and social connections in their later years.
There is a lot to be said in support of such “Golden Girls” living arrangements, from both a financial and a health perspective. But they may not be for everybody, and women who are considering co-housing in their senior years should do so with their eyes wide open as
to the complexities and challenges.
Still, the potential benefits are clear. Sharing housing costs, either through co-ownership of a property or through co-renting as roommates, can go a long way toward saving money to be put toward other priorities, such as travel, healthcare or legacy. If you rent out a room in your home to a friend, that could be an additional source of income in retirement. On a practical level, sharing everyday household duties – cleaning, cooking, and so on – can simply make life easier, and senior “roomies” may find that the others’ abilities nicely complement their own. For instance, you might be a gourmet cook but can’t drive, while your roommate doesn’t know a spatula from an air-fryer but is ready and willing to chauffeur you about town in her Range Rover.
The psychological and emotional benefits might well outweigh such practical considerations. Research has consistently shown a connection between social isolation and deteriorating mental and physical health among seniors. This is particularly a challenge for women, who have longer life expectancies than men and are overrepresented among the nearly 30% of Canadians over the age of 75 who live alone. According to Statistics Canada, nearly half of Canadian women over 65 are not part of a couple, compared to about a quarter of men. Living with someone whom you (presumably) like, and who is there for you in times of need or distress, can help combat loneliness. It can also help you keep active and socially connected through shared experiences, like going to the gym, travelling together or simply doing chores. And living with a friend can give you and your family peace of mind in the event of a medical emergency – someone is there to watch out for you, and you for them.
As attractive as co-habiting may appear for many single senior women, however, it is clearly not a decision to be taken lightly. The most important consideration, obviously, is compatibility. Being a friend, even a close one, is very different from being a roommate. Just like marriages, even the strongest friendships can be fractured by the day-to-day disagreements and annoyances that can arise from simply living with another human being. Before jumping into a co-housing arrangement, it behooves all parties to have an open, honest conversation about habits, living preferences, pets, daily routines – all the quotidian things that might cause conflict down the road. Moving house can be a distressing and disorienting experience for anyone, but it can be especially so for seniors who might already be living with mental or physical challenges. In short, choose your roommates carefully.
There are also other, more technical financial and legal considerations to make before deciding to live with a friend in your later years:
- Legal status of home ownership: If you and your friends purchase a home together, then the legal framework of the co-ownership can matter very much. The most common arrangement among non-married co-owners is “tenancy in common,” whereby each party owns an undivided interest in the property. That means that any of them can sell their share without consent of the other owners, and if one co-owner dies, their ownership interest transfers to their estate. The less common arrangement for non-married co-owners is joint tenancy, whereby each party has equal rights to the entire property; if one party passes, ownership transfers to the other owner or owners. Either of these ownership structures could have important implications for you and your estate planning, and they should be discussed in detail with your legal and wealth advisors.
- Leasing: If you are renting a property along with your roommates, the division of ownership is not an issue, of course. But that does not mean the situation is simple. For instance, whose name is on the lease? If it’s yours, then you will be ultimately responsible for payment of rent. If your roommate(s) reimburse you for their share, then you need to stipulate when and how. What happens, however, if they cannot or will not pay? Usually, all co-tenants are responsible for any rent amount owed, which means a landlord may pursue any of them for the full amount even if they have paid their share. And what if they have to move out or are hospitalized? How will their rent be covered? These questions should be answered before the decision to cohabit is made – and definitely before signing a lease.
- Healthcare: One of the benefits of co-housing is that roommates can look out for one another and assist in the needs of daily life. But as we age, our healthcare needs almost certainly become more pressing. As they do, expecting a friend/roommate to look after us may well be unrealistic, and one roommate’s deteriorating health can put an extra emotional, time and physical burden on others. Another point: having a roommate does not take away the need for planning financially for growing healthcare needs as we age. At some point, you may require more healthcare support than can be feasible when living independently, and it only makes sense to plan for that possibility—with or without a roommate.
- Household expenses: How will they be shared? Who will pay them? Whose name are utility bills, cable and Internet, streaming services, newspaper subscriptions and other expenses in? Which are voluntary and which are requisite? These details should be discussed and agreed before co-habiting.
Those are just a few of the considerations for a woman considering a co-housing arrangement, but there are surely more. After all, living with somebody can get complicated very quickly, and no relationship lasts forever. For older individuals, the fact is that the likelihood of death, hospitalization or going into a higher-care health facility is greater than for other roommates. Considering those possibilities and answering the “What if?” in the event of relationship breakdown take on even more importance.
The key is communication and planning. In much the same way a prenuptial agreement can smooth the course of a marriage, a cohabitation or roommate agreement, formal or informal, and negotiated before the live-in relationship begins, can go a long way towards ensuring peace of mind and enjoying the benefits of co-housing with a friend. It makes sense to discuss your plans with your wealth and legal advisors to ensure that the living arrangement is right for you and your family over the long term.
Happy Galentine’s Day!
